May 19, 2024

Being married to someone emotionally unavailable can be extremely difficult. Most of the time, you will feel like your spouse doesn’t love you and that you are always second to their interests and hobbies, but this isn’t always the case, and it doesn’t mean you should give up on your relationship just yet.

Your husband or wife may be emotionally distant or unaware of their actions or effects on others, so it’s essential to know how to cope with an emotionally unavailable spouse to move past this bump in your marriage and get back to a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Unresponsive Spouse

Believe That Things Will Get Better

If you’re feeling like you’re not getting the emotional support that you need from your spouse, it’s essential to believe that things will get better. Try not to blame yourself for being unhappy or feeling there’s no hope for your marriage. 

Instead, focus on how you can make things better. Remember that it may take time before your spouse feels comfortable expressing their feelings and emotions. In the meantime, here are a few tips for making the most of the situation. 

The first tip is to understand what might be causing their lack of emotional availability and respond accordingly when they seem distant or disengaged.

Attend Therapy Sessions Together

It can be difficult for a spouse who is emotionally unavailable to attend counselling sessions together, but it can be helpful for the emotionally available person. You can either take counselling sessions from online counselling services or physical. The emotionally available person can learn their spouse’s triggers and work on self-care, so they don’t become overwhelmed by the situation. 

They can also learn how to help their spouse by supporting them when they speak up, giving them space when needed, and not taking things personally. This may take time and patience, but it will help you both feel more comfortable in your relationship.

Spend Time Apart

Finding what works for you is essential, but one technique is spending time apart from your spouse. This will show them you are serious about the problem and give them time to think through the situation without distractions. 

Give yourselves at least 3-5 hours of space, which should be enough time for you both to process what has been going on in your marriage and come up with a plan together. Remember that this is just one coping method that might not work for everyone.

Schedule Fun Activities Outside Of Home

One way to get your spouse’s attention is by scheduling fun activities outside the home. These activities should be something they will enjoy and not a chore but something they would like to do. 

For example, go out on a date night and enjoy dinner at his favourite restaurant. This will create a sense of excitement in your spouse and make them want to reciprocate and spend more time with you.

Stay Busy With Hobbies And Friends

You can quickly get into self-pity when your spouse is unavailable. You may feel lonely and neglected, which can lead to resentment. To combat these feelings, you must stay busy. One way to do this is by engaging in hobbies and spending time with friends. If you have family nearby, spend some time with them regularly.


It’s tough when you’re a spouse who wants more emotional intimacy and can’t get it. I hope this has given you some ideas for how to cope with your unresponsive spouse. If you have any other questions, please drop me a line!